al-qaeda spider

Last night on the way home from a movie there was a spider on the windshield, which Mike tried to kill while driving and telling me not to look. Afterward the conversation went like this:

Mike: I TOLD you not to look!
Me: Well I can't not look, I have to know what the threat is!
Mike: The threat? What, was it Al-Qaeda on the windshield? They almost...
Me: Got me?
Mike: ...Put a veil on you.

(In Port Angeles)
Carrie: Excuse me, can you pretend to be assaulting me?

Who Pooped in the Park?

Greetings from Forks! A few highlights of the day from Megan and Carrie:

• We found an amazing book in the Forks welcome center called Who Pooped in the Park? Animal Scat and Tracks for Kids. That in and of itself is incredible, but the book was really a gem. It was about a little boy who was afraid of seeing bears and things in the woods, and his parents told him that he could enjoy animals by looking at their tracks and "scat." "We don't have to have close encounters of the scary kind, we can have encounters of the poopy kind!" At the end of the day, the kids have discovered the joys of animal scat. "We didn't see any animals, but it felt like we did!"
• Don't touch racoon scat. It contains parasites. You can identify owl poop because it's full of bones and fur.
• In the Forks Coffee Shop - Carrie: "That waitress has angst!" (Throws in vampire fangs and bares teeth at her back.)
• On a sign: "Beach logs kill!!!" Also, "Tsunami Evacuation Route." Yes, drive AWAY from the ocean.

Sadly, we weren't keeping a list of our hilarity, but I'll add more as I think of it.

A Moment

Today I was texting Krissie and she asked if I was dating anyone. (Actually, she asked if I was eating anyone, but I assumed she meant dating.) I told her that I'm actually pretty hopeless with dating and that I'm good at making friends with boys, but not at dating them.

Krissie: "Oh I am in the boat beside you holdin out your oar."

Yeah, we're going to get along just fine.