Sheryl and I were outside grilling some chicken and while we were waiting for it to cook up we started doing clapping games.

Lindsey: Cinderella, dressed in yella went upstairs to kiss a fella...
Sheryl: When she kissed him he said, "Nay! Get thee hence!"

yeah. brilliant.

Yes.

Miri: Megan, I'm whining.
Megan: I know.
Miri: But you aren't acknowledging it.
Megan: I find that's the best way to deal with it.
Miri: Rude! See if I whine to you again.

beaverandsteve.com

for you fellow Scrabulous lovers.

craziness

Lindsey: You look like the guy who built the railroads!
Miri: Paul Bunyan?
Lindsey: Yeah, because Paul Bunyan built the railroads with his giant ox.

Lindsey: That's the worse car commercial ever...maybe if it were for something cool...
Miri: Like drugs?
Lindsey: or soda.

Miri: How do these compare in size to mini coopers, do you suppose?
Lindsey: One Mini Cooper is to One VW Bug as One Unicorn is to One Leprechaun.
Megan: Is that the default unit of measurement now?

Lindsey: Fisticuffs. It may come to fisticuffs.

Megan: Lindsey= Potiphar's wife.
Lindsey: I am not the whore of Babylon!

Lindsey: Too many butt references.
Megan: There can never be too many butt references.

Miri: I bet you wake up with a Tiger butt on your face.

Quotes from NAPCN

Jennie: Miri, have you smelled Nate??
Miri: What does Nate smell like?
Nate: MAN.

Nate: Megan, why are you holding the babe magnet?
Megan: I AM a babe magnet.
Nate: But you're a babe.

Miri: Lili, have you said anything funny since you got here?
Lili: Miri.

Nate decided to start giving girls locks of his hair tied up in bows made of ribbon in the color "man blue".

Curt: Your butt is like an amusement park.
(in reference to Lindsey's bottom)

last night, on the way home from Curt's...
we pretty much went in circles taking all the back roads to get home. at one point we were going around a sketchy-looking corner and Lindsey said:
Lindsey: where is this taking us?
(the corner got scarier as we went around it)
Miri: um... somewhere where we get raped.
(hysterical laughing begins)
Lindsey: oh, look, it's Honk's. which is also somewhere where we could get raped.
(venting about the stupidness of it becoming a $1.05 store begins)


this was much, much funnier as it happened.

Megan: Alas. And alack. And Alaska.
Miri: [Uncontrollable laughter]
Megan: I can't believe you're still laughing at that one Miri.
Miri: I know, it's just always so unexpected. Alaska always pops its head up at the end and surprises me.

Quotes.

Megan [as Miri]: If only Todd would look at me, I'd drop Mike like a hot potato!
Miri: Or a... heavy one.
Megan: Yes. A hot or heavy potato. Not to be confused with a hot AND heavy potato, which would be quite different.


Todd: Well, I'm off.
Megan: Like soiled socks!
Miri: Or a prom dress!
Megan: Or a dirty shirt!
Miri: Or a... rocket...
Megan: Or a light switch.
Todd: ...Bye. [closes door]
Miri: Todd! Todd!
Todd: [opens door]
Miri: Guard your carnal treasure!
Todd: [rolls eyes and closes door]
Megan: Todd! Todd!
Todd: [opens door]
Megan: Let your cheeks bounce!
Todd: [rolls eyes and closes door harder]
Miri: TODD! TODD!
Todd: [opens door] WHAT?
Miri: ...have... fun.
Todd: Ok. Bye. [closes door. runs away.]


From Giant Journaling on Wednesday:
Janie: So what's the story on the pot in the garbage?


Megan: pdododododododo

This isn't so much a quote as just kind of funny and embarrassing.

My friend Sheryl and I went to a new singles ward in College Park. There was a guy there I recognized from other activities and I knew he knew Krissie. He sat in front of us and introduced himself. I told him my name and he gave me a "i think i know you" look. He said, "are you two from southern maryland?" I told him yes. He asked my last name. I told him what it was.

Then he said, "Oh. Yeah. I know Krissie. You're married to her on Facebook, right?"

Um. Yes. Yes I am.

I just thought everyone should probably see this...

Prayer Giggles...

So, there we were, all gathered round to have roommate prayer. As we all know, once someone starts to giggle, then it is over with, and there is NO way a prayer is to be said.

So after I mentioned the infamous grape lady movie (if you don't know what I mean, look up "grape lady" on youtube) then we all lost it. Soon enough people were telling theories of how to stop the giggles.

I said, "Well, I just try to remember that I am talking to Heavenly Father, and I should be reverent..."

Nicole said, "I just talk to myself..."

I said, "Nicole! You are talking to SOMEONE when you pray!!!"

Nicole said, "What are you talking about? I was answering Lacey's quesiton..."

*long, awkward pause*.... *Laughter for the next ten minutes*

That was the hardest prayer I think I have ever said in my life... Maybe this is one of those things you have to hear in person to be funny... But I am sure we can all relate to this situation...

safety first

today my dad walked into part of our house that is under construction and said "ow".

I asked if he hurt himself.

he said, "potato".

uh...yeah.

And the Verb of the Day Is...

to vike \vaik\ v [back formation] : to pillage, plunder, or otherwise cause a nuisance while wearing horn-ed hats and riding around on boats with giant snakes (/dragons/vicious mermaids) on the front.
-Megan

Goodbye-Sister-Mandy Funniness

Well that was the most disappointing molestation I've ever seen. -Landon

Miri, let me do something to your butt real quick. -Lili

And by man you mean muppet. -Megan

Megan: He probably just realized how much he misses us.
Miri: Yeah... probably.
Megan: That's probably what everyone realized tonight, not just him. Haha... just kidding.
Miri: No you're not, you liar.
Megan: You're right... I'm not.

We are snobs and nerds.

Miri: It does have stick figures of human people. Did you like how I said "human people?"
Megan: I know for me, personally, human people are the best kind of stick figures. For those of you who don't know that. Or me.

Todd: Hey Miri, let's go date.

al-qaeda spider

Last night on the way home from a movie there was a spider on the windshield, which Mike tried to kill while driving and telling me not to look. Afterward the conversation went like this:

Mike: I TOLD you not to look!
Me: Well I can't not look, I have to know what the threat is!
Mike: The threat? What, was it Al-Qaeda on the windshield? They almost...
Me: Got me?
Mike: ...Put a veil on you.

(In Port Angeles)
Carrie: Excuse me, can you pretend to be assaulting me?

Who Pooped in the Park?

Greetings from Forks! A few highlights of the day from Megan and Carrie:

• We found an amazing book in the Forks welcome center called Who Pooped in the Park? Animal Scat and Tracks for Kids. That in and of itself is incredible, but the book was really a gem. It was about a little boy who was afraid of seeing bears and things in the woods, and his parents told him that he could enjoy animals by looking at their tracks and "scat." "We don't have to have close encounters of the scary kind, we can have encounters of the poopy kind!" At the end of the day, the kids have discovered the joys of animal scat. "We didn't see any animals, but it felt like we did!"
• Don't touch racoon scat. It contains parasites. You can identify owl poop because it's full of bones and fur.
• In the Forks Coffee Shop - Carrie: "That waitress has angst!" (Throws in vampire fangs and bares teeth at her back.)
• On a sign: "Beach logs kill!!!" Also, "Tsunami Evacuation Route." Yes, drive AWAY from the ocean.

Sadly, we weren't keeping a list of our hilarity, but I'll add more as I think of it.