Quotes.

Megan [as Miri]: If only Todd would look at me, I'd drop Mike like a hot potato!
Miri: Or a... heavy one.
Megan: Yes. A hot or heavy potato. Not to be confused with a hot AND heavy potato, which would be quite different.


Todd: Well, I'm off.
Megan: Like soiled socks!
Miri: Or a prom dress!
Megan: Or a dirty shirt!
Miri: Or a... rocket...
Megan: Or a light switch.
Todd: ...Bye. [closes door]
Miri: Todd! Todd!
Todd: [opens door]
Miri: Guard your carnal treasure!
Todd: [rolls eyes and closes door]
Megan: Todd! Todd!
Todd: [opens door]
Megan: Let your cheeks bounce!
Todd: [rolls eyes and closes door harder]
Miri: TODD! TODD!
Todd: [opens door] WHAT?
Miri: ...have... fun.
Todd: Ok. Bye. [closes door. runs away.]


From Giant Journaling on Wednesday:
Janie: So what's the story on the pot in the garbage?


Megan: pdododododododo

This isn't so much a quote as just kind of funny and embarrassing.

My friend Sheryl and I went to a new singles ward in College Park. There was a guy there I recognized from other activities and I knew he knew Krissie. He sat in front of us and introduced himself. I told him my name and he gave me a "i think i know you" look. He said, "are you two from southern maryland?" I told him yes. He asked my last name. I told him what it was.

Then he said, "Oh. Yeah. I know Krissie. You're married to her on Facebook, right?"

Um. Yes. Yes I am.

I just thought everyone should probably see this...

Prayer Giggles...

So, there we were, all gathered round to have roommate prayer. As we all know, once someone starts to giggle, then it is over with, and there is NO way a prayer is to be said.

So after I mentioned the infamous grape lady movie (if you don't know what I mean, look up "grape lady" on youtube) then we all lost it. Soon enough people were telling theories of how to stop the giggles.

I said, "Well, I just try to remember that I am talking to Heavenly Father, and I should be reverent..."

Nicole said, "I just talk to myself..."

I said, "Nicole! You are talking to SOMEONE when you pray!!!"

Nicole said, "What are you talking about? I was answering Lacey's quesiton..."

*long, awkward pause*.... *Laughter for the next ten minutes*

That was the hardest prayer I think I have ever said in my life... Maybe this is one of those things you have to hear in person to be funny... But I am sure we can all relate to this situation...

safety first

today my dad walked into part of our house that is under construction and said "ow".

I asked if he hurt himself.

he said, "potato".

uh...yeah.

And the Verb of the Day Is...

to vike \vaik\ v [back formation] : to pillage, plunder, or otherwise cause a nuisance while wearing horn-ed hats and riding around on boats with giant snakes (/dragons/vicious mermaids) on the front.
-Megan

Goodbye-Sister-Mandy Funniness

Well that was the most disappointing molestation I've ever seen. -Landon

Miri, let me do something to your butt real quick. -Lili

And by man you mean muppet. -Megan

Megan: He probably just realized how much he misses us.
Miri: Yeah... probably.
Megan: That's probably what everyone realized tonight, not just him. Haha... just kidding.
Miri: No you're not, you liar.
Megan: You're right... I'm not.

We are snobs and nerds.

Miri: It does have stick figures of human people. Did you like how I said "human people?"
Megan: I know for me, personally, human people are the best kind of stick figures. For those of you who don't know that. Or me.

Todd: Hey Miri, let's go date.

al-qaeda spider

Last night on the way home from a movie there was a spider on the windshield, which Mike tried to kill while driving and telling me not to look. Afterward the conversation went like this:

Mike: I TOLD you not to look!
Me: Well I can't not look, I have to know what the threat is!
Mike: The threat? What, was it Al-Qaeda on the windshield? They almost...
Me: Got me?
Mike: ...Put a veil on you.

(In Port Angeles)
Carrie: Excuse me, can you pretend to be assaulting me?

Who Pooped in the Park?

Greetings from Forks! A few highlights of the day from Megan and Carrie:

• We found an amazing book in the Forks welcome center called Who Pooped in the Park? Animal Scat and Tracks for Kids. That in and of itself is incredible, but the book was really a gem. It was about a little boy who was afraid of seeing bears and things in the woods, and his parents told him that he could enjoy animals by looking at their tracks and "scat." "We don't have to have close encounters of the scary kind, we can have encounters of the poopy kind!" At the end of the day, the kids have discovered the joys of animal scat. "We didn't see any animals, but it felt like we did!"
• Don't touch racoon scat. It contains parasites. You can identify owl poop because it's full of bones and fur.
• In the Forks Coffee Shop - Carrie: "That waitress has angst!" (Throws in vampire fangs and bares teeth at her back.)
• On a sign: "Beach logs kill!!!" Also, "Tsunami Evacuation Route." Yes, drive AWAY from the ocean.

Sadly, we weren't keeping a list of our hilarity, but I'll add more as I think of it.

A Moment

Today I was texting Krissie and she asked if I was dating anyone. (Actually, she asked if I was eating anyone, but I assumed she meant dating.) I told her that I'm actually pretty hopeless with dating and that I'm good at making friends with boys, but not at dating them.

Krissie: "Oh I am in the boat beside you holdin out your oar."

Yeah, we're going to get along just fine.

Pet Meds

"There are hundreds of pets across America dealing with drug addiction because of Betty White."

My sister and I were watching TV and that annoying Betty White Pet Meds commercial came on...I said I hate those commercials and Lauren said Betty White was old and then I started talking about how she is trafficking drugs to pets....hence the quote above.




For the record, i don't like that i have to post my own quotes, but it was my sister's idea...she just couldn't post it for me so this will have to do. the end.

(about a game of Monopoly in which he cheated... a lot...)
But you were destined to win anyway. You're like... Luke Skywalker. Or Jesus.
-Mike

Aw.

My four year-old nephew Cooper, after coming off a ride at Lagoon: "Daddy, my tummy is dizzy!"

Another incident of bad timing.

We were over at Jeff's brother's house playing Apples to Apples, when Jeff and his brother were recalling how the card "Hellen Keller" usually works in most cases. So they threw down the next green card, and Jeff jokingly called out Hellen Keller. Sadly the word was "senseless". Wait to go, Jeff.

I guess this isn't much of an actual quote, but funny none the less.

All in a days work... stupid readers digest...

So basically, Nicole and I were hanging out on Temple square as we both work there now, and I was telling her about how I was traumatized at the thought that I may have deleted the original copies of all our movies.

Nicole: But don't you have a copy on your dad's computer? We made them on there!
Lili: No Nicole! I took everything off my dad's computer! I gutted it!
Nicole: You did!?
Lili: Yes! (6 missionaries walk behind me and I am unaware...) I just took everything off! (Louder, to be dramatic.) I took EVERYTHING off!!!

...Missionaries look my direction, then continue awkwardly on their way...

I am so embarrassed... Sob...

Jennie: Miri, now your naked bear looks more naked.
Miri: That's because now he's naked and alone.
Curt: Story of my life.