Geoff Strikes Again

This is kind of a paraphrase from Sunday school today. We were talking about prayer and how sometimes we just have to be persistent in what we ask for - the Lord wants to see how much we care about what we're asking for, etc.

Geoff: You know, sometimes I say to myself, 'I'd like to eat now,' but I don't feel like putting in the effort to prepare anything. Sometimes I eat hot dogs, not because I actually want hot dogs, but that's what I end up with. I eat a lot of hot dogs. So that's kind of like our prayers. We can't be satisfied with spiritual hot dogs.

How true that is. I think that may be destined to go down in history next to the parable of the pickle. Maybe it's a hot dog with relish.

Today.

Miri: (Generic whining about how screamo bands irritate the crap out of me. If you can't find a MUSICAL way to express yourself, maybe you shouldn't be a MUSICIAN. And also how I was disappointed/annoyed by a My Chemical Romance song that had looked promising.)
Megan: Well, it's ok. I heard the lead singer has cancer or something.
Miri: (at least a minute or two later) Wait- did you mean it's ok, he has cancer, as in he's going to DIE??


I finished snogging today. -Nicole


Megan: Why are you still talking?
Lili: My mom says that all the time!


Were you just making upward noises? -Lili


(in reference to the 10% Toys R Us discount which is pretty much only good for getting rid of tax)
Megan: Any time you can cheat the government, it's a good day.
Miri: I'm writing that on the quote wall. We might get arrested, but it'll be worth it.


Harry Potter does not have a mullet. -Lili


Miri: You're a butthead, Lili.
Lili: That is the worst imagery Miri. That's like "Eyemouth!" "Toe-ear, Miri!"

Lili: I have an anti-Miri device around my door. I only turn it on during the day. I know every time you've come into my bed!
Miri: [uncontrollable laughter]

All: Jim! Jim!
Lili: We're idiots. All of us. Every one.

Cracking the Whip

(In reference to a fairy tale theater movie Mike refused to watch)
"I watched Dragon Ball Z with you. If you don't want me to make a list of all of the things you've made me do that I didn't want to do, you will watch this movie. Now, let's go shopping." - Miri

Quote from across the pond

"I feel bad her water broke." -Lindsey




(I was referring to a bottle of water...)

Geoff's First Quote

Here, you can have your steamy sex back... -Geoff

Sacrament Meeting Supplementary Notes

Jennie: love of money > love of Tyler

Miri: How unfortunate that when he says the word "prism" it sounds just like "prison."

The temple ≠ prison

Megan: The temple > prison . . .
as love of money > love of Tyler

Miri: So does that equate the temple with love of money?
Megan: In the analogy sense more than the mathematical sense. English-related comparisons are much less rigid. Even if they are made with math symbols.
Miri: math symbols > math itself

Speaker (Tyler): You need to fill your canteen, and then when the wilderness around you is attacking you, you’ll be safe.
Megan: The wilderness is attacking us? And water will ward it off?
Miri: Like the little girl in Signs.

Megan: Some people has glasses. Some people has headgear. Some people (who shall remain nameless) deserve to be hit with a book. Or a truck.

Serious

So one night when I was angry with boys, Jonathan invented a method of feeling better involving Toaster Strudel. You draw the face of the punkface on your strudel, and then not only do you get to eat toaster strudel, you also get to eat their face.

Jonathan: Hey, don't take this stuff lightly. This is some serious voodoo crap.

MALE=LAME

love of money > love of Tyler
-Jennie

Miri: Marrying a girl is way better than marrying a boy. If I could marry Megan and not go to hell, I would.

Megan: Too bad nobody's going to be holding my hand tonight.

Holidays and boys make you fat and sad.

Miri: If Stacia hasn't been obvious, I'm a turkey!

Miri: Lindsey, make my brain shut up!
Lindsey: Hey, brain, shut up! You silly brain... don’t you know that boys are giant nerds? (Refer to your memory and previously written heathen notes.) I love Sam. I love you too- we are so cool... Wait, we aren’t supposed to say that so much. And if we didn’t think about boys we would never get married because we wouldn’t think we needed them- and we do because they call us pretty and stuff. Darn them. (-a note written in Relief Society in Sam and Jennie’s ward)

But he’s not cute. He’s ugly. And retarded. And by ugly and retarded I mean cute and not retarded. –Lindsey

We fall in love with you because we are delusional.
We think that somewhere Heathcliff is in there trying to get out.
We don’t realize that Heathcliff was invented by a woman.
-Megan

male = lame -Christine

Boys are lame. –Drew Graham

He should be so lucky! –Miri

Guys are frustrating! It’s a good thing they’re hot. –Stacia

I didn’t know one person could have so much awkwardness. –Megan

Miri, you are so happy today. Did you find a boyfriend? –Bintou

Megan: But 192 doesn’t like girls.
Miri: That’s true. They like deer.

We’re afraid of girls. I think it’s engineering-induced social retardation. –Jason

I want to be a Mormon nun. I think I’ll call up Sheri Drew. We can hang out. –Miri

Miri: Lindsey, what’s wrong with you?
Lindsey: I’m a man.

I’m pretty sure that whenever I refer to people as “boys” it’s because of them having screwed up my life. –Sam

There is NO excuse for taste that bad! –Andy Zaelit

Well, you know ___. He’s basically afraid of bunnies and small children. –Lindsey

Boys = stupid

And it was so cute, and I was like... please date me. –Megan

Miri: You don’t want a Stepford husband, though, cause he’ll try to put a chip in your brain.
Jennie: Yeah, that’s no good. I might want a chip in my mouth, but not in my brain.

Boys are stupid. Girls are stupid too. We’re stupid about boys. Boys are stupid about everything.

How many times will a boy ask a girl out after getting a no, then insulting her, then asking her out again? (Chris- IIIII II)

R.I.P. Simon

A tribute to our dearly departed married friend Simon the Pixie.

Lindsey: You are a random, girly boy.

Simon = favorite boy ever invented.

Whitney: Simon, I love you. If I weren't going on a mission, I would pursue you.
Jennie: I've been pursuing him for months and he hasn't bitten.

Simon: I would like to clarify that I was NOT kissing the toilet brush.

Simon (in a text to all of us): I just wanted you girls to know that y'all looked very beautiful today. (Aw)

The Bipolarality of 154

We Like Us

You guys are pretty awesome, let’s be honest. –Lindsey

You have a definite lack of suckiness. –Megan

Oh man, I am so darn exciting. –Megan

Too bad no one’s gonna be holding my hand tonight. –Megan

I sure get a kick out of myself sometimes. –Megan

Man, sometimes I’m just so funny I can’t stand myself. –Miri

We’re so cute. I like us a lot. –Megan

I am so sneaky! –Megan

Miri: Megan, I like you a lot.

Megan: Well, I can’t blame you. I’m great.

Wow, it’s a good thing we have each other to be the comic relief or else we’d get way too much studying done. –Miri

As roommates in Zion...

I’m just a quote wall waiting to happen. –Jennie

Mandy: I think you’d be hotter than them.
Whitney: Oh, I would be.

Pretty sure we’re the hottest thing since soup. –Lindsey

Self-Deprecation

I really can’t afford to gain any more weight or I will not be allowed to ride elevators. –Miri

Man, I royally suck. No, not royally. I just suck. –Miri

I don’t know. It just bugs me that I’m stupid. –Miri

Someone needs to hit me in the head with a frying pan. –Miri

Why is my face funny looking? –Megan

Why is my face stupid? –Miri

I think I need to buy a new head. –Miri

Nice work, hair. Way to be stupid. –Megan

I’m sad that I’m such a loser. –Miri

I want to be a Mormon nun. I think I’ll call up Sheri Drew. We can hang out. –Miri

I’m not having a good hair... semester. –Miri

I think I’m just gonna go to my room since I’m on drugs. –Whitney

Miri: I’m not usually retarded!
Jonathan: That's good!

Jennie: Good old President Hinckley.
Megan: Yes, he is good. And old.

A Tribute to Todd

The following (and variations thereof) have been said in Todd's presence for the last year.

"Oh no! Don't show Todd!"

"Hey Todd, get out!"

"Don't tell Todd about that."

"We'll talk about it after Todd leaves."

"Todd, close your eyes!"

"No! Todd can't see!"

"After Todd goes."

Also, a funny thing Todd said:

Todd: I do love chemistry. More than . . .
Miri: Life itself?
Simon: A million dollars?
Todd: . . . dirt.

Todd: (In reference to the cha-cha) I know all the steps, but I can't shake my booty worth a darn.

The Original Upstairs Quote Wall

You guys are pretty awesome, let’s be honest. –Lindsey

You have a definite lack of suckiness. –Megan

I really want to study, but I’m lazy. –Bintou

But he’s not cute. He’s ugly. And retarded. And by ugly and retarded I mean cute and not retarded. –Lindsey

I really can’t afford to gain any more weight or I will not be allowed to ride elevators. –Miri

Hey, it’s called solitaire, not two-person-itaire! –Justin

Holidays and boys make you fat and sad. –Lindsey

How can the temple be ‘alright?!’ Bob, you’re going to hell. –Miri

Whoopsie, I think my bum crossed the chastity line. –Drew

Zion = Cheers -Drew Smith

And I was like, “Mary Poppins is in bed with Paul Newman!” –Sam

Janice Indiana Jones Underwood

It’s a good thing we have those there to catch things with. –Landon

Listen, just don’t deal with old people. They’re pretty much useless. –Nate Kartchner

Man, I royally suck. No, not royally. I just suck. –Miri

I haven’t seen it in like ten years! Okay, so not ten years, but at least two months or so! –Alex

I don’t know. It just bugs me that I’m stupid. –Miri

What a load of towel. –Megan

Everything I touch is “for lovers.” –Karissa

We fall in love with you because we are delusional.
We think that somewhere Heathcliff is in there trying to get out.
We don’t realize that Heathcliff was invented by a woman.
-Megan

Look how smell it goods! –Megan

Death by vocabulary! –Megan

Oh, hair tie, you are somewhere in my purse. Manifest yourself. -Landon

Well, you know Val. He’s a Boy Scout. He’s always busy tying knots and stuff. –Dyno

Someone needs to hit me in the head with a frying pan. –Miri

male = lame -Christine

Let’s twice and a half it! –Megan

-Well, I’ll be damned.
-You most probably will be. –The Long, Hot Summer

Dang, I look good. –Alex

Aahh! A noun is coming! –Amy

Boys are lame. –Drew Graham

And I was like, what on earth? And then I realized that it was just because my brain is near death. –Megan

Toilet paper and paper towels are interchangeable. –Janice

He should be so lucky! –Miri

Do we have anything that resembles a cooling rack? Maybe we could use a blanket… or toilet paper. –Janice

Why is my face funny looking? –Megan

Why is my face stupid? –Miri

Holy buckets! –Miri

Yes! I saw an ad for that and forgot to remember about it! –Christine

And I said, “What kind of stupid question is this?” –Bintou

Dang, I’m fresh out of 25,000 foot cables. –Bradley

Chocolate is a substitute for love. –Miri

Just because Nixon was a realist doesn’t mean he wasn’t also an S.O.B. ‘Cause he was. –Valerie Hudson

Oh man, I am so darn exciting. –Megan

Too bad no one’s gonna be holding my hand tonight. –Megan

I’m full… but I want to eat! –Bi

I sure get a kick out of myself sometimes. –Megan

Man, sometimes I’m just so funny I can’t stand myself. –Miri

Guys are frustrating! It’s a good thing they’re hot. –Stacia

We’re so cute. I like us a lot. –Megan

My ears are cold. I need ear gloves. –Miri

I’ve invented a game involving a Guatemalan hedgehog. –Rob

She’s leaving a trail of woe and misery behind her with her slash and burn dating. –Megan

And it was so cute, and I was like… please date me. –Megan

I’m like ten thousand degrees hot right now. –Joel

Mmmm, splendid. –stupid cereal box

Miri: When were you born?
Brad: 5/27/80
Miri: 527 AD?!?

Is it too late to go into ornamental horticulture? –Isaac

And whatever happens, hang on to your bucket. –How to Steal a Million

I think I need to buy a new head. –Miri

Nice work, hair. Way to be stupid. –Megan

Gosh, we’re great. I would date us! –Megan

Git ‘er done!

What the Sodom and Gomorrah is this? –Kay

I am so sneaky! –Megan

That floats my happy boat. –Camille

I’d be giggling if Paul Newman kissed me! –Miri

Just regular-type flying monkeys would be fine, but pitchfork ones? –Lindsey

Pi is for eating, not exponentiating! –Janice

The day is cold and dark and dreary.
Divine Comedy is sold out and I am weary. –M.W. Longfellow

I didn’t know one person could have so much awkwardness. –Megan

Sam: So I was walking down Main Street in Disneyland today-
Megan: Today?? Wow, you get around!

YAY PANTS!

I’m sad that I’m such a loser. –Miri

Miri: Megan, I like you a lot.
Megan: Well, I can’t blame you. I’m great.

How can an adverb be passive OR active? They don’t DO anything!! –Miri

Wow, it’s a good thing we have each other to be the comic relief or else we’d get way too much studying done. –Miri

Hey! We should learn Morse Code, and then we could jump up and down and send messages! [jumps up and down] –Miri

Megan: Come on, ugly car! Go!
Miri: That IS an ugly car!
Megan: Well, they’re from Missouri. They don’t know any better.

Oh, this is cute. Why don’t I just wear a nun’s habit? That would be really attractive. I’m sure that’s why they wear them. –Miri

I like to wiggle my toes in these socks. –Megan

One day I’m going to see him walking on campus and I’m going to faint. Or jump on him. –Mary

China will never become a great world power because they don’t have football. –Poli Sci 170

I’m like a Barbie. –Curt

If I brought a little joy into your humdrum life, my hard work ain’t been in vain for nothin’. –Megan

Lindsey: It’s kind of a guttural sound.
Brad: Guttural? Are you bowling?
Lindsey: It’s a word! Guttural: from your gutter.

Miri, you are so happy today. Did you find a boyfriend? –Bintou

Look how big these pants are. I’m pretty sure you could climb in here with me and it would be fine. Except for the whole awkward part. –Megan

You know what will be a happy day? The day that I don’t open the drawer and there are no knives so I butter my bread with a spoon. –Megan

I hate driving in the snow. It should be discontinued. –Lindsey

Miri: Trivia is fun.
Megan: And trivial.

Miri: If it’s between me doing it and a boy doing it, why not let him do it?
Megan: That’s pretty much my philosophy on life.

That’s it, you’re getting flushed. I hope you can’t swim, little buggy. –Lindsey

In the big picture, passing American Heritage isn’t really that important. I mean, it’s good information, but it’s not going to take me to the Celestial Kingdom. –Janice

Miri: Our doors are so ugly! I’ll go over it with a black permanent marker if I have to.
Megan: But then people will think we have the Plague.
Miri: Well at least they won’t think “baby poo!”
Megan: Yeah, cause that’s worse. Baby poo never killed off a third of Europe.
Miri: Yeah, but it smells!

Is that a serving platter on her head? Is she going to carry around a roast turkey?? –Miri

Megan: But 192 doesn’t like girls.
Miri: That’s true. They like deer.

Quotes from Phoenix

Lili: Well, since I'm the closest to a man in this car . . .

Jennie: Your butt has a horse.

(Someone): My pants are wet . . . and I don't know why.

Jennie: Don't look at my butt when you get into bed . . . 'cause it's showing.

Lili: I would have fixed my wedgie before you pulled my pants down!

Jennie: Snow falls from the bum?

Miri: I want three halves of a fourth of your donette.

Jennie: Just because I'm drinking fitness water does not mean I'm fit!

Jennie's thoughts on how we could get the maintenance men to come fix our light:
Do you want me to get naked? I could go stand in the hallway and say 'Hey maintenance man, I'm naked! I'm naked, maintenance man! Come fix our stuff!' Maybe I can go upstairs and get some of Landon's lingerie, and then I can stand in the hallway and say 'Dearest maintenance boys, come hither! I can't find my clothes until you fix the light!'
Don't you wish there was a picture to accompany this?