Mike: I have a friend who doesn't like fruit. He lives on [mumble mumble]
Miri: He lives on Mount Doom? ... Oh. He lives on Mountain Dew.
Mike: [laughing a lot]

Remember Puberty?

Aaron was talking to Mike and me and his voice cracked, so he turns to Mike and says "Wow, that hasn't happened in a long time. Remember puberty? That was great."

Jennie's birthday!

Megan: So I was watching Joyeux Noel with subtitles, and they were saying "chouette" in the movie--
Miri: Which sounds like "shit."
Jonathan: hysterical laughter

I think that boy has a penguin on his head. --Miri (and he did-->)

If you're in the middle you pretty much have to grope someone. --Megan

Jonathan: I'm going to go wash up.
awkward silence while he leaves
Marci: Well that's very hygienic of him.
Miri: He probably just needs some "man" time. He's gonna go look at the urinals for a while.

Janie!

Janie (at her bridal shower): We went to Divine Comedy on our first date and it was awful. Don't waste your time.
Various girls: Divine Comedy is great! We love it!
Janie: Well the one we went to was Pooptacular.

If I could marry Miri without going to hell...

(Walking home from church today, Miri was explaining to Mike that she wanted to stop by our apartment before going to his house. When he asked why, I told him it was because she loves us.)
Miri: Yes, I love Megan. And my roommates.
Me: I'm glad I get top billing here!
Miri: Megan, if I were a polygamist (and a man) you would be my first wife.

Muppet Christmas Carol Night Quotes

Geoff (to Megan before he hugged her): I have to take advantage of you while you're vertical and your hands are occupied.

Geoff: Oh you're right, Fred IS hot! (Scrooge's nephew Fred)

Jennie: You know what, I am pretty much the nicest person I know, and I do not understand why boys keep treating me like s***!

Hilarity is Her Middle Name

Miri: What did you decide on the engagement front?
Lili: Um, still up in the air. I left it up to him, waiting for him to pop the question. If he does, then he does. If he doesn't, then he's dead.


Lili: I'd better go shower for the party tonight! Cleanliness is next to muppetness!

Girl Bonding = Boy Hating. It's True.

Lili: She [Jennie] seriously needs to learn some man-hating skills. That is what... fuels love. Is when you find a guy who ISN'T as stupid as the rest.


not so much funny as it is very, very true.

So I was complaining to Miri about how long it's taking me to write my Hitchcock paper even though I know exactly where it's going (at least up to a point...then I'm not sure).
Miri: I'm sorry you're stuck . . .
Maybe you need to plunge your paper.

If you aren't laughing, you haven't read about my plumbing adventures. Yay Miri.

Sheryl and I were outside grilling some chicken and while we were waiting for it to cook up we started doing clapping games.

Lindsey: Cinderella, dressed in yella went upstairs to kiss a fella...
Sheryl: When she kissed him he said, "Nay! Get thee hence!"

yeah. brilliant.

Yes.

Miri: Megan, I'm whining.
Megan: I know.
Miri: But you aren't acknowledging it.
Megan: I find that's the best way to deal with it.
Miri: Rude! See if I whine to you again.

beaverandsteve.com

for you fellow Scrabulous lovers.

craziness

Lindsey: You look like the guy who built the railroads!
Miri: Paul Bunyan?
Lindsey: Yeah, because Paul Bunyan built the railroads with his giant ox.

Lindsey: That's the worse car commercial ever...maybe if it were for something cool...
Miri: Like drugs?
Lindsey: or soda.

Miri: How do these compare in size to mini coopers, do you suppose?
Lindsey: One Mini Cooper is to One VW Bug as One Unicorn is to One Leprechaun.
Megan: Is that the default unit of measurement now?

Lindsey: Fisticuffs. It may come to fisticuffs.

Megan: Lindsey= Potiphar's wife.
Lindsey: I am not the whore of Babylon!

Lindsey: Too many butt references.
Megan: There can never be too many butt references.

Miri: I bet you wake up with a Tiger butt on your face.

Quotes from NAPCN

Jennie: Miri, have you smelled Nate??
Miri: What does Nate smell like?
Nate: MAN.

Nate: Megan, why are you holding the babe magnet?
Megan: I AM a babe magnet.
Nate: But you're a babe.

Miri: Lili, have you said anything funny since you got here?
Lili: Miri.

Nate decided to start giving girls locks of his hair tied up in bows made of ribbon in the color "man blue".

Curt: Your butt is like an amusement park.
(in reference to Lindsey's bottom)

last night, on the way home from Curt's...
we pretty much went in circles taking all the back roads to get home. at one point we were going around a sketchy-looking corner and Lindsey said:
Lindsey: where is this taking us?
(the corner got scarier as we went around it)
Miri: um... somewhere where we get raped.
(hysterical laughing begins)
Lindsey: oh, look, it's Honk's. which is also somewhere where we could get raped.
(venting about the stupidness of it becoming a $1.05 store begins)


this was much, much funnier as it happened.

Megan: Alas. And alack. And Alaska.
Miri: [Uncontrollable laughter]
Megan: I can't believe you're still laughing at that one Miri.
Miri: I know, it's just always so unexpected. Alaska always pops its head up at the end and surprises me.

Quotes.

Megan [as Miri]: If only Todd would look at me, I'd drop Mike like a hot potato!
Miri: Or a... heavy one.
Megan: Yes. A hot or heavy potato. Not to be confused with a hot AND heavy potato, which would be quite different.


Todd: Well, I'm off.
Megan: Like soiled socks!
Miri: Or a prom dress!
Megan: Or a dirty shirt!
Miri: Or a... rocket...
Megan: Or a light switch.
Todd: ...Bye. [closes door]
Miri: Todd! Todd!
Todd: [opens door]
Miri: Guard your carnal treasure!
Todd: [rolls eyes and closes door]
Megan: Todd! Todd!
Todd: [opens door]
Megan: Let your cheeks bounce!
Todd: [rolls eyes and closes door harder]
Miri: TODD! TODD!
Todd: [opens door] WHAT?
Miri: ...have... fun.
Todd: Ok. Bye. [closes door. runs away.]


From Giant Journaling on Wednesday:
Janie: So what's the story on the pot in the garbage?


Megan: pdododododododo

This isn't so much a quote as just kind of funny and embarrassing.

My friend Sheryl and I went to a new singles ward in College Park. There was a guy there I recognized from other activities and I knew he knew Krissie. He sat in front of us and introduced himself. I told him my name and he gave me a "i think i know you" look. He said, "are you two from southern maryland?" I told him yes. He asked my last name. I told him what it was.

Then he said, "Oh. Yeah. I know Krissie. You're married to her on Facebook, right?"

Um. Yes. Yes I am.

I just thought everyone should probably see this...