Mike: I have a friend who doesn't like fruit. He lives on [mumble mumble]
Miri: He lives on Mount Doom? ... Oh. He lives on Mountain Dew.
Mike: [laughing a lot]

Remember Puberty?

Aaron was talking to Mike and me and his voice cracked, so he turns to Mike and says "Wow, that hasn't happened in a long time. Remember puberty? That was great."

Jennie's birthday!

Megan: So I was watching Joyeux Noel with subtitles, and they were saying "chouette" in the movie--
Miri: Which sounds like "shit."
Jonathan: hysterical laughter

I think that boy has a penguin on his head. --Miri (and he did-->)

If you're in the middle you pretty much have to grope someone. --Megan

Jonathan: I'm going to go wash up.
awkward silence while he leaves
Marci: Well that's very hygienic of him.
Miri: He probably just needs some "man" time. He's gonna go look at the urinals for a while.

Janie!

Janie (at her bridal shower): We went to Divine Comedy on our first date and it was awful. Don't waste your time.
Various girls: Divine Comedy is great! We love it!
Janie: Well the one we went to was Pooptacular.

If I could marry Miri without going to hell...

(Walking home from church today, Miri was explaining to Mike that she wanted to stop by our apartment before going to his house. When he asked why, I told him it was because she loves us.)
Miri: Yes, I love Megan. And my roommates.
Me: I'm glad I get top billing here!
Miri: Megan, if I were a polygamist (and a man) you would be my first wife.

Muppet Christmas Carol Night Quotes

Geoff (to Megan before he hugged her): I have to take advantage of you while you're vertical and your hands are occupied.

Geoff: Oh you're right, Fred IS hot! (Scrooge's nephew Fred)

Jennie: You know what, I am pretty much the nicest person I know, and I do not understand why boys keep treating me like s***!

Hilarity is Her Middle Name

Miri: What did you decide on the engagement front?
Lili: Um, still up in the air. I left it up to him, waiting for him to pop the question. If he does, then he does. If he doesn't, then he's dead.


Lili: I'd better go shower for the party tonight! Cleanliness is next to muppetness!

Girl Bonding = Boy Hating. It's True.

Lili: She [Jennie] seriously needs to learn some man-hating skills. That is what... fuels love. Is when you find a guy who ISN'T as stupid as the rest.


not so much funny as it is very, very true.

So I was complaining to Miri about how long it's taking me to write my Hitchcock paper even though I know exactly where it's going (at least up to a point...then I'm not sure).
Miri: I'm sorry you're stuck . . .
Maybe you need to plunge your paper.

If you aren't laughing, you haven't read about my plumbing adventures. Yay Miri.